From Casual Conversations to Unanswered Questions: A Story of Unexpected Change

I think the saddest breakup stories are the ones where you don't even know if it was a love story in the first place. You hang on to a person in hopes that they'll get the love you have for them. Instead, they just abandon you one day, knowing the fact that you love them. To make things worse, they don't maintain the distance they should but instead give you some of the most memorable moments of your life while you were together. The kinds that are left imprinted on your heart for as long as you live. They just leave with so many questions in your head, the most daunting one being, Why couldn't they love you?

Whether I was in love or just friend with the most beautiful soul I have ever met.After almost 2 years without talking her, alone in my room , I was busy staring at the ceiling. It was rainy outside, and at that midnight hour, sleep was escaping me, more I tried to block away my thoughts more they reccured. 

All this started from the evening when favourite person of my life called ;

She: Hey, long time no see.

Me:(bewildered) Hello!

She: How are you?

Me: Still alive and really good.

She : Do you still miss me?

Me : No.

She: Haven't you moved on?

Me: Yeah, a long time ago.

She: Then why aren't you with anyone? 

Me: It's nothing to do with you.

She: Alright, do well ahead. You have got better ones then me, and you deserve them.

She disconnected the call, but made me all miserable again, like she did when she left, no excuses, no questions, just went away.

I  went to my brain first, which counter attacked me with its own questions:

Brain : Was she worth all your efforts?

Me: Nope.

Brain: Do you miss her?

Me: Not at all, there are moments when certain things remind me of her, but I don't miss her now.

Brain: Have you moved on?

Me: Absolutely.

Brain: Do you think, you deserve someone better?

Me: Yes, ofcourse I do. Atleast someone who could see my worth and my efforts.

Brain : Why aren't you hanging out with any of your campus girls? They are beautiful and smart.

Me: I don't know , Maybe I don't want to.

I rushed to my heart,

As if a child runs to mother's lap.

Me: Before you do any bombarding over me, with your doubts, let me clear mine, this time.

Me: Will I ever be able to like someone again?

Heart: Only if you want to.

Me: Why no one seems attractive to me?

Heart: Coz you have stopped looking at all.

Me: Can I trust someone without any risk?

Heart: First trust yourself, you are still that cheerful guy, who loved the things.

Me: Why I live in so many insecurities?

Heart: Bcoz you were too innocent as child and too pure as pearl. With time things made you quite strong and independent , that you really don't feel like relying on someone now. That makes you insecure with other person.

Me: Should I start seeing someone?

Heart: It's your wish, you don't need to hurry up, because people are saying you to. Also you can't force yourself to feel for someone, let the things be natural. 

Me: What should I do?

Heart: Sink in yourself but also be aware of your surroundings. 

Enjoy things around you. 

Do whatever makes you feel happy. 

Don't make things which are ought to be unconditional on your term and conditions, bcoz no one is going to fit in that.

Be the better version of yourself, with each passing day.

And remember, the one who sees your worth won't mislead for your personality either.